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Funny Thanksgiving Quotes, Sayings, Adults, Facebook, Inspirational

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings –

So, are you all set to make this Thanksgiving full of gratitude together with fun? If yes! We are ready to accompany you. We have a wonderful collection of funny Thanksgiving quotes and sayings to help you kick start your festivities on a grateful note. So, stop giving it a second thought. Just raise your glass, set your spirit high and share these most inspiring funny thanksgiving sayings and quotes with your dear ones. Just show them how thankful you are while keeping your humor high.

Looking for the perfect moment to come and celebrate your Thanksgiving? Stop waiting! Snatch the moment and make it perfect. When the family, friends and all your dear ones gather around a table, just take a moment and express your gratitude with these funny and most amazing thanksgiving quotes and sayings. These thanksgiving quotes are going to fetch you the attention while making you express in the most amazing manner.

1. If you count all your assets, you always show a profit. ~ Robert Quillen

2. I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the “history” I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America’s traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it’s a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all. ~ Ellen Orleans

3. Thanksgiving: Not a good day to be my pants! ~ Kevin James

4. Happy We-Stole-Your-Land-and-Killed-Your-People Day! ~ Thanksgiving toast, from the movie Sweet November

5. Thanksgiving Day, a function which originated in New England two or three centuries ago when those people recognized that they really had something to be thankful for – annually, not oftener – if they had succeeded in exterminating their neighbors, the Indians, during the previous twelve months instead of getting exterminated by their neighbors, the Indians. Thanksgiving Day became a habit, for the reason that in the course of time, as the years drifted on, it was perceived that the exterminating had ceased to be mutual and was all on the white man’s side, consequently on the Lord’s side; hence it was proper to thank the Lord for it and extend the usual annual compliments. ~ Mark Twain

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings

Images for Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings

6. Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are? – ”Kenny Rogerson

7. I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” – €”Jon Stewart

8. Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape … to play Santa Claus. – Melanie White

9. I’€m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’€™m thankful for that.” – €”Howie Mandel

10. Shot my first turkey today..scared the crap out of everyone in the froze food section, it was awesome

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings-1

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings-1

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

11. Store security stopped my wife at the door for trying to steal a butterball turkey. I had to show ID 12. proving I’m not a butterball turkey. – Just Bill

12. I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family. – Damien Fahey

13. What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.

14. Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes.Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not the coincidence. ~Erma Bombeck

15. What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? – Erma Bombeck

16. I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online.” —Kumail Nanjiani

17. I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” —Erma Bombeck

18. The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?’” —Jim Gaffigan

19. I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.” —Howie Mandel

20. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.” —Mitch Hedberg

 

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Pictures

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Pictures

Funny Thanksgiving Sayings

21. Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks.

22. They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like say, Turkeypocolypse or Stuffing-cide.

23. Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home. – Melanie White

24. Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.

25. A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying “that smells good” to be helping – Jimmy Fallon

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Jokes

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Jokes

26. The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any huge meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it and then chopping and cooking and braising and blanching. Then it takes 20 minutes to eat it and everybody sort of sits around in a food coma, and then it takes four hours to clean it up. ~ Ted Allen

27. Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey – until Thanksgiving. ~ Mike Connolly

28. The thing I’m most thankful for right now is elastic waistbands. ~ Anonymous

29. I love Thanksgiving turkey. It’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

30. Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. ~ Johnny Carson

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Images

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Images

See More ->>> Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Facebook

30+ Fascinating Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Facebook – Its Thanksgiving and how can you leave aside your Facebook family? We know how important it is for you. In this world of socialization, you find a majority of dear ones or stay connected with them here on Facebook. This Thanksgiving is meant for them too. So if you are looking for some Funny Thanksgiving Quotes to upload on your status bar? There is a vast collection waiting out for your eyes.

We know there is no substitute for words to express yourself. So, we make it the strongest tool for you with these fascinating Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Facebook. Though this day makes you turn a bit emotional but creativity lies in being funny at the same time. Relax! You need not do the labour. Just copy and paste the humorous collection of Thanksgiving quotes on your Facebook homepage or let your People’s Timeline loaded with these amazing Thanksgiving quotes. This stuff is definitely going to make your FB family feel special. Post out to get notified for the entire day. Happy Thanksgiving!

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Facebook

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

  1. You know that just before the first Thanksgiving there was one wise old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.” – Dylan Brody
  2. Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes. A building can’t jump at all!
  3. A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn’t find one big enough. She asked the stock boy “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No they’re dead”.
  4. I don’t eat pumpkin pie. It’s made from the guts of jack-o-lanterns, and that’s just spooky. – Melanie White
  5.  
  6. Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.” —Jim Davis
  7. “Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.” —Rita Rudner
  8. Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?” —Kenny Rogerson
  9. We’re having something different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.” —George Carlin
  10. Even though we’re a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.” —Richard Roeper

Thanksgiving Status for Friends

funny-thanksgiving-quotes-for-Facebook

funny-thanksgiving-quotes-for-Facebook

  1. Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” — Kevin James – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  2. Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” — Johnny Carson
  3. “Here I am 5 o’clock in the morning stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird’s butt…” — Roseanne Barr
  4. You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” —Jay Leno
  5. Even though we’re a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.” — Richard Roeper – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  6. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.” — Stephen Colbert
  7. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.” — Mitch Hedberg
  8. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.” — Rita Rudner“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” — Jay Leno – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  9. Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not the coincidence.” — Erma Bombeck
  10. I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” — Erma Bombeck

Short Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

funny-thanksgiving-quotes-for-Facebook

funny-thanksgiving-quotes-for-Facebook

  1. Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.” ― Michael Dresser
  2. This one may be a bit gross, but it did make me chuckle
  3. If you’re at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don’t like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you’re eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you’re out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, ‘Boy, these are good cigars!’” – Jack Handey
  4. If I was a turkey, I’d be doing everything I could to taste terrible right now.
  5. My aunt is bringing her homemade cranberry sauce to our Thanksgiving dinner, and my uncle is bringing his blatant racism! – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  6. They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like say, Turkeypocolypse or Stuffing-cide
  7. Want to really freak someone out? Add 2 extra turkey legs to the turkey when it’s in the oven.
  8. You have to smoke a couple of bowls before Thanksgiving dinner. I can’t think of a better time to have the munchies. – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  9. There is a special place in hell for people that play Christmas music before Thanksgiving.
  10. If you didn’t want to sit at the kids’ table then you shouldn’t have seen the new Twilight movie. – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  11. I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving.
  12. Shouldn’t the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium. – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Images for Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Facebook

funny-thanksgiving-quotes-for-Facebook

funny-thanksgiving-quotes-for-Facebook

funny-thanksgiving-quotes-for-Facebook

funny-thanksgiving-quotes-for-Facebook

funny-thanksgiving-quotes-for-Facebook

funny-thanksgiving-quotes-for-Facebook

See More ->>> Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Teachers

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Adults

This Thanksgiving here are the quotes to help you marvel at the blessings of your life. These are one of the funny thanksgiving quotes for adults that help you commemorate the occasion together with your friends. There are a lot of memories with your friends that are forgettable, ever vivid and heartwarming. And to share all such memories there can be no better day than Thanksgiving. So, let us celebrate the holiday centered around food, family and friends with these funny Thanksgiving quotes for adults. All it takes is a close second on Thanksgiving to share what you feel and appreciate your dear ones while making them happy with such funny Thanksgiving quotes.

Simply think what do you do when you are really thankful? Share? So, just do it and do it in the best possible way ever. These funny Thanksgiving quotes will certainly make you cry happy tears while making you burst into laughter. So, why miss such moments? Just share these wonderful thanksgiving quotes and celebrate the day.

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Adults

  1. Charlie Brown – What if, today, we were grateful for everything?
  2. I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online. ~ Kumail Nanjiani
  3. There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money. ~ Benjamin Franklin
  4. There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American. ~ O. Henry
  5. Dear Lord; we beg but one boon more: Peace in the hearts of all men living, peace in the whole world this Thanksgiving. ~ Joseph Auslander
  6. May our hearts be filled with thanks and giving.
  7. The best of all blessings is to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering. ~ Pedro Carvalho
  8. Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey – until Thanksgiving. ~ Mike Connolly
  9. Maya Angelou ~ Be present in all things and thankful for all things.
  10. I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. ~ Erma Bombeck
  11. Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. ~ Norm Papernick
  12. An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. ~ Irv Kupcinet
  13. From too much love of living, From hope and fear set free, We thank with brief thanksgiving Whatever gods may be That no life lives forever; That dead man rises up never; That even the weariest river Winds somewhere safe to sea. ~ Algernon Charles Swinburne
  14. May the blessings of the Thanksgiving fill your hearts and home.
  15. When did you last thank God for someone important in your life, such as your husband, children, family, or friends? Renee Swope
  16. It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status. ~ Russell Baker
  17. I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family. ~ Damien Fahey
  18. Thanksgiving day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man, it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow. ~ Edward Sandford Martin
  19. Erma Bombeck ~ I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
  20. The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us? ~ Jim Gaffigan
  21. We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink. ~ Epicurus
  22. I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. ~ Jon Stewart

Images for Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Adults

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Adults

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Adults

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Adults

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Adults

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Adults

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Adults

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Adults

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Adults

See More ->>> Funny Thanksgiving Quotes to Share with Friends

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Inspirational

Celebrate the spirit of this wonderful festival with funny Thanksgiving quotes inspirational. This is one of the perfect occasions to offer gratitude and appreciate all the good you have around you. But remember to stay funny together with being emotional on the day. These Funny thanksgiving quotes are just perfect to celebrate the occasion around the table with your dear ones.

When people gather to commemorate the occasion, take a moment and express the gratitude with these most expressive funny and inspirational quotes on Thanksgiving. We are sure that these inspirational quotes are going to take your heart away. So, laugh out, turn expressive and win the hearts that mean the most to you on this Thanksgiving with simple and most inspirational words put in these quotes. And yes! If you wish to make this Thanksgiving even more expressive, be innovative with the way you share these quotes. It is just that you need to make your people feel special. Choose your way to share the Thanksgiving quotes in the best possible manner. Happy Thanksgiving!

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Inspirational

  1. W.T. Purkiser – Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our Thanksgiving.
  2. “I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” —Jon Stewart
  3. The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. ~ Benjamin Franklin
  4. I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual.” –Henry David Thoreau
  5. Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough. ~ Oprah Winfrey
  6. Enter his gates with Thanksgiving and his courts with praise; Give thanks to him and praise his name.
  7. It is when we stop thinking about what we don’t have or what we lack, and become grateful for who we are, that we can gain access to true unlimited inspiration.
  8. It has been an unchallengeable American doctrine that cranberry sauce, a pink goo with overtones of sugared tomatoes, is a delectable necessity of the Thanksgiving board and that turkey is uneatable without it. — Alistair Cooke
  9. Oscar Wilde – After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.
  10. Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” —Johnny Carson
  11. The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving. ~ H.U. Westermayer
  12. Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough. ~ Oprah Winfrey
  13. Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. ~ Jim Davis
  14. Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of Thanksgiving.
  15. Thanksgiving marks the beginning of the holiday season and represents food, family and moments of sharing and professing gratitude.
  16. The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ But we do that every day Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us? ~ Jim Gaffigan
  17. On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment – halftime. — Unknown

Images of Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Inspirational

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings

Funny Thanksgiving One-Liners

Funny Thanksgiving One-Liners

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Inspirational

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Inspirational

See More ->>> Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Teachers

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes about Family & Friends

Best Funny Thanksgiving Quotes about Family & Friends – No relation is prior to these special people called family. So, this Thanksgiving let us gift our families one of the best things, the appreciating words. When the family sits together around the table, there can be no other best time to share these Funny thanksgiving quotes about family. So, be ready to turn this get-together into the most amazing moment of your day. This funny Thanksgiving quotes to assist in offering gratitude in such an amazing way that one can feel the thrill of words. Stop taking minutes, just grab the chance and share these wonderful Thanksgiving quotes with the ones you care most about.

Families deserve thanks in a distinctive way and these quotes do no less than achieving that satisfaction. Wish to turn even more innovative this Thanksgiving? Leave these quotes under the food bowls served on the table. Make your mother feel that she is the best cook and let her feel how her made food is special than anything else on this earth. Likewise, let your father see thanksgiving quotes slip when he slips his hand in valet. No end to the ways and when the Thanksgiving quotes are so expressive, the task turns even easier.

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes about Family & Friends

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes About Friends

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes About Friends

  1. When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around. – Willie Nelson
  2. Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.” —Nicole Hollander
  3. There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle.  The other is as if everything is. Albert Einstein
  4. You can only govern men by serving them. The rule is without exception. Victor Kiam
  5. Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” –Oprah Winfrey
  6. I love Thanksgiving because it’s a holiday that is centered around food and family, two things that are of utmost importance to me. ~ Marcus Samuelsson
  7. Give thanks to the Lord for he is good. His love endures forever.
  8. Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough. ~ Oprah Winfrey
  9. Archeologists 10,000 years from now will believe this was a sacred feast where gravy boats were worshipped.  ~ Just Bill
  10. What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? — Erma Bombeck, “No One Diets on Thanksgiving,” 26 November 1981
  11. W. Clement Stone ~ If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.
  12. Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” ~ Kevin James
  13. I don’t have a solution, but I certainly admire the problem. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
  14. Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” ~ Charles Dickens
  15. We’re getting ready to sit down at the table and have Thanksgiving, and there’s people that are not with their families. There are people that are in dangerous areas, putting their lives on the line to keep our country free, and I think that’s something we should all celebrate every day. ~ Guy Fieri
  16. Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never ever have enough.
  17. Thanksgiving is a time to give, a time to love, and a time to reflect on the things that matter most in life. ~ Danielle Duckery
  18. How to cut a turkey the Republican way: give 1% of your guests 99% of the meat. ~ Andy Borowitz
  19. Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. ~ Michael Dresser
  20. Henry David Thoreau ~ I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual.
  21. It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak. ~ Phyllis Diller

Images of Funny Thanksgiving Quotes about Family & Friends

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes About Friends

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes About Friends

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes About Friends

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes About Friends

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes About Friends

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes About Friends

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes About Friends

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes About Friends

See More ->>> Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Birthday Wishes

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